There is a group of people that pop up when you start getting into mainstream media and are featured by brand names that people recognise.
Their words are damaging, vicious and they bring a whole load of fuckery that can cause you to doubt everything you are doing, can bring up feelings of unnecessary shame, and for some it can be enough to stop them in their tracks.
It’s WORSE than trolls leaving nasty, hateful comments. At least they are being open about showing themselves to be losers, making it easier for you to brush off. This form of trolling is far more destructive.
I’m talking about the camouflaged troll!
You may have encountered them already. Think about when you first started making changes:
– Starting your business
– Putting yourself out there on social media
– Cutting down on the booze and/or drugs
– Joining a gym and eating healthy
– Moving out of your home town
Whatever it was for you, did you have people you know, family members even, saying things like:
“You’re making yourself look like a fool”
“Your head is in the clouds. Come back to the real world!”
“Enjoy it while it lasts!”
“Too good for us now, are you?”
“I never thought you’d do this. Where’s your integrity?”
If so, you have experienced the wrath of the camouflaged troll.
You levelling up makes them uncomfortable which brings about the crab mentality. If you haven’t heard of this before, I’ll put it very simply.
There’s a bucket of crabs waiting to be boiled alive.
They are all clambering on top of each other trying to escape.
One reaches the top (let’s call him Steve)
As he’s on his way to freedom, the other crabs pull him back down into the bucket in any way they can, even if it means they literally pull his legs off in the process.
Karen the crab: (Holding onto Steve’s newly detached leg, waving it around like a lightsaber) You’re going nowhere without us, Steve!
Steve: Well, come with me then. I’ll even let you keep my leg.
Karen: Oh no, I couldn’t possibly do that. That’s not how it works because
Camouflaged trolls will not rip your leg off, but they will pull you back down into that bucket using their words if you let them. They will fuel your insecurity and invoke feelings of guilt and shame- when you have done nothing to deserve it. what’s worse is that most of the time, they have no idea they are doing it. From their perspective, they are looking out for you and are concerned about your well being/social image/sanity.
Well, they can shove their concern up their dicks!
It’s nothing to do with you- their real concern is that you are making them uncomfortable with the changes you’re making. The human brain fears the unknown more than anything (this is why so many people stay stagnant in shitty situations) and alarm bells will ring when changes happen that are out of their control, causing them to react with criticism, judgement and passive aggressive comments disguised (even to themselves) under the umbrella of ‘caring’.
So, how do you deal with it?
There are two options and only you can decide which is the best for you, in your situation.
A: Set boundaries. You have a conversation with the person involved where you calmly and clearly explain what you will and will not talk about and what will happen if that boundary is crossed, then (important!) you stick to it.
Or B: Remove them from your life (or areas of your life, such as social media). Ouch, yes, this one can be very painful but necessary if they are going to keep dragging you down. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. And before you say “But they are family” I don’t care if it’s the Queen dancing like a chicken on one leg. If they are pulling you down into the bucket, use their wrath as fuel for your big leap to freedom.
Have you experienced the wrath of the camouflaged troll? How did you deal with it? comment below!
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